I had this image when I was younger of my first home purchase being the typical first home with my husband, to prepare for the arrival of our first child. A momentous occasion based on that milestone in life. Cut to today, in my early 30’s and i’m about to sign the papers to purchase a one-bedroom co-op apartment in a building I have coveted since I first moved to this city in 2006. I knew that one day it would come to this, I would either purchase my first home alone or with a partner, and I finally came to the conclusion in the past year it was all me, just me.
As a suburban child of the ’00s Sex and the City was like a bible for me of city life, goals, how I wanted to live my life. I watched every episode on a DVD rented from my local video store when my older sister was in high school. The episode about Miranda buying her first condo as a single woman felt so different to me when I was 16 years old, my reaction was like yeah, get it girl. But re-watching the episode as I’m going through the experience is completely different. While I still have a sense of arrival at reaching this point in my life, the insecurities of what it means as far as relationship power structure has come into play in my mind. If I own, and a future partner rents, what does that mean? In 2017, I hope it means, great when we are ready you move in with me and we save up for our magical house in the suburbs. But even as a fierce feminist, the process has had its share of pauses. I have had to check several different pieces of paper that say “single not married”, which was not where I saw myself at this age. And yet, I have never been happier, I achieved all my suburban dreams, and now i’m about to own a piece of a city that has meant everything to me. I still can’t believe my small dreams of getting out of a suburban life and moving several states away to chase my professional dreams in the big city have been achieved. So for the time being, those voices need to be quieted, is it just me? Yeah, it’s just me, and that’s all I need.
The SATC Scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7rpR-ul1po